The Effects of Spiritual Abuse on Women Continued
When you go into a cultic, abusive church the women all seem alike. Just like the movie "The Stepford Wives" from the 1970's, there is a uniformity that is unnatural. Rather than giving life in its fullness as the Gospel does, cultic churches rob women of full growth, development, individuality and identity in God and Christ. Women's identity is found in the man, then in the leadership, then in Christ, according to the unbiblical chain of command that is imposed. They are taught that questioning their husbands or pastor is to defy God, since they stand in the place of God. Women are little more than objects for rule and subjugation in some abusive churches.
When a woman leaves a cult, whether she is a wife, a teen, or a single woman past teen years there is great confusion about who and what she is. What should she do now? What is the place of women? How can she dress and use makeup? What is allowed for a career? Are careers allowed, or is menial work the only work fitting for a woman? What is the place of sex in marriage, and how does she express her sexuality? These and so many other questions bombard a sister who has left a cult.
Many of these answers can be found as you enter a wholesome, normal Evangelical church where women are free in Christ. Finding a good church is not easy, but when one is found and you feel safe enough to begin to become a part, start making friends with women who obviously love God, but are so different from the false model you were given in your old church. Look at how godly women are serving and ministering in the church. Talk to them, spend time with them, if needed, find an older woman who can mentor you, maybe even find a Christian woman counselor to help you over the cultic inhibitions. Begin to dream the dreams you had for yourself before you entered the cultic church. Some had gifts of music, writing, business, etc. that were all smothered in error. God has given each of his children gifts and talents that are the very things we are to use to praise him and minister to others. Now that you are free from the cult, part of your healing will be to rediscover what God has given to you so you can bless him and others by using them well.
There are good books on these topics, as well. Many books on marriage, life in Christ, sexuality, ministry, etc. can be found in an evangelical Christian bookstore. Be patient, though. During all the years you were under false teaching you have been brainwashed to believe error, it will not disappear overnight. God will bring you back to truth and life, but it will take time to build a solid foundation of belief and life. Don't despair! God will not leave you!
As a woman you are so greatly treasured in God's eyes. Jesus defied the evil teaching about women in his day - the same type of wrong, evil teaching that is found in most cultic churches. He treated women like equals and honored them. Women were always with him - they even helped support both Jesus and the disciples! Jesus allowed the bleeding woman to touch him, and he spoke and ministered to the woman at the well - all things good Jews of the day would never do. Jesus raised women up from the false subjugation they were held in, and gave them a place of honor in his kingdom. Never, ever look down on yourself. You are highly treasured by God!
